Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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