i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
