dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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