Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
