My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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