I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
