some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
