I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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