If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
