you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
