Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just invented taco cereal.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
