Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
