just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i think my cat just said my name.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
