Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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