I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
