Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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