I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think my fart just growled at me.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
