We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
