Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
