I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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