she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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