Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
