he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
