Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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