D3 body, D1 cock
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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