I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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