Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I can't turn off my feet"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
