yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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