Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
