Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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