We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
