I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
