he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
