Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
