Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
