nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
