im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
That reminds me...we need to get swords
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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