remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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