you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
