i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
