you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
