I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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