What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
