Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
