I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
