is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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