waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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