last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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