CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
