There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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