It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
